Crimas Blog: 5.1

Griff's Walk

It's -30 with the wind today which is warmer than it has been the last few days. Griff, as you can imagine, doesn't care for the cold. Unfortunately, she doesn't understand that it's the same temperature at the park as it is in the back yard, so she's been dying to get outside on her leash. She's got puggle cabin fever. So today I relented and agreed to take her out, just to prove to her that it sucks everywhere outside, not just within the confines of our yard. I think she noticed something was up when she saw me put a bunny hug on over my wool turtle neck, then my down parka, then a toque beneath the hoods of my bunny hug and my down jacket, then my fuzzy it's really shitty outside boots, and finally my mitts over my leather gloves. Oh, and I also wrapped a scarf around my face and took my glasses off. No point wearing them, they just fog up anyway. Regardless, she insisted. We got one block further than I thought we would for a round trip total of four blocks, a dump and a wizz. She's happily licking her cow now and leaving me alone.

Crimas Blog: 4.1

Merry Christmas!!!! Christmas is by far my favourite holiday. Largely because for the last 5 years I have either been in or worked at a university so I generally get one paid week off - topped up with a few vacation days to make it a solid 2 weeks. Pretty sweet. I also feel it's okay at this time of year to get drunk on Bailey's in the morning. I usually sober up by lunch and it doesn't give me an afternoon hangover.

Of course, the other best part of Christmas is hanging around with the people you love and (hopefully) like. Last night Dorothy, Judith and I went to see a movie while Donald and Kris stayed home, played darts and got into a fight. When we came home Dad was upstairs trying to surf the internet and Kris was just coming up from the basement where he had disabled the router. That was their story, but I think we all know they had a lovely time and have made plans to get together again.

So yes, the movie. Having worked in a movie theatre for many years and having terrible memories of having to choose if I would work over Christmas or over New Year's, I had to apologize to the usher for coming to a movie on Christmas Eve. He was chipper about it though and I have to say, it was truly delightful. The diet coke was delightful, as were my raisinets; the very few number of people milling around was delightful (only 10 in our movie, including us), and the movie was just excellent. We saw The King's Speech with Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. I loved it. We all agreed the swearing was the best part! Also, it's nice to know such a heart-warming story was going on just a couple of years before the world descended into some very dark times.

That's it. That's my Christmas day post. We're spending today over at Mom and Dad's where we'll get to watch the first grandchild enjoy his first Christmas. I'm pretty stoked about that! I suppose I could tell you that last night I had a dream about old timey radio broadcasts (makes sense given the movie) and Meech Lake. Not the accord, the actual lake. Griff and I were walking along the hiking trails there. It's a beautiful spot but, I have to say, not as beautiful as the view out my front window in my hometown on Christmas morning.

Crimas Blog: 3.1 - Griff's Rap

My name is Griff
I kick you all through the night
My name is Griff
you know I'm outta sight

My name is Griff
I punch your man in the nethers
My name is Griff
Coz' I don't want no brothers (or sisters)

My name is Griff
I eat your presents for lunch
My name is Griff
I eat them munch munch munch

Why?!
Coz I'm hungry bitch
Now gimme some ground up lamb organs in my kong before I wreck you

Crimas Blog: 2.1

Still sick. Not the "cancel all my plans I'll be dead any minute" kind of sick, but enough sick to keep me from visiting Jon, Laura and "the 'mac attack" as Chris B. calls him (he reserves all rights for any animation that might result from this monicker).

I just want to say that I'm super pissed at whoever gave me this cold. I'm also confused because I have never in my life had more than one cold per cold & flu season and I'm pretty sure I already filled my quota for this round.

Anyway, we watched the SNL Christmas special last night. My two favourite moments:

1. Dick in a Box, by Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake. No need to explain that one, it's possibly one of the best SNL sketches from the last decade.

[Between that last sentence and this one I had to take a 15 minute break to go scratch my dog. She wreaks enormous havoc if her routine is not followed. Normally, she lays on me while we watch Canada AM for about 45 minutes in the morning. We didn't do that today as I went directly to drinking expired Neo-citran and paying all my attention to the computer. I sensed she was just about to eat my lip balm but managed to avert any disaster. She's like a bully. She's tough as shit on the outside with the Pit Bull-like jaw muscles and a terrifying hump lock* to back it up, but inside she just wants some scratchies.]

2. The Hanukkah Song, by Adam Sandler. I think the best part of that song is when he points out that O. J. Simpson isn't a jew. I am actually an Adam Sandler fan. For example, Punch Drunk Love, Spanglish, Reign Over Me and The Wedding Singer are all pretty good movies. I also liked Big Daddy and I think everyone can agree that Happy Gilmore was excellent. So there. Bet you didn't know you like Adam Sandler, but trust me, you do.

*Hump lock: Griff's ability to clamp her front paws around my forearm in a frenzy and assault me. Normally she does this while we are playing fetch with her humping dragon. She really just wants to hump dragon, but if I'm holding him in my hand then my forearm will do. As long as she has a clear visual of Puffy. Puffy is her dragon. Based on Puff the Magic Dragon...who lived by the sea...and frolicked in the autumn mist...in a land called Honah Lee.

Crimas Blog: 1.1

I am counting today as day one of holidays, since I will be on said holidays in only a few measly hours.

Day one:
Sick. Woke up at 3am and watched Jimmy Fallon try desperately to not flirt with his 14 year old guest. It was awkward - no surprise there.

Watched ALL of Bird on a Wire. Got to see up Goldie Hawn's skirt a few times. That was  alright I guess.

Came to work, accepted Kris' outlook event invitation to fetch his leftover apple from his work cupboard so it doesn't turn to compost over the holidays. Ate said apple.

Will go for lunch with office mates, probably have soup if it isn't something gross or weird.

Bully for you Regina Humane Society!

Oh those McGuinty reactionaries. The bullies and rotties I meet at the dog park are generally the friendliest dogs there. It's the little poodles that cause all the trouble.

CBC News - Saskatchewan - WATCH: Regina Humane Society takes in banned pit bulls

My God CBC!

Seriously, I read the headline "Mark Carney's Bag: The aftermath", and I just about spit out my delicious curried quinoa and apricot stuffed pork loin with balsamic vinaigrette wrap.

Hey little weirdo

Maggie and I were going through our boxes of old school stuff while watching the Rider game at Don and Dorothy's on Sunday. Found a school assignment that asked me to predict events for 1990. I predicted my Grandparents would come home from Texas one week late, that I would get three 1s on my report card, and that Ronald Reagan would die on May 14th, 1990.

Seriously, 8 years old. What a little nut I was. Trying to think of why 8-year old me would have such a hate on for Ronald and the only thing I can come up with is that the wall had just come down and I might have thought he was being a bit smug to poor old Gorbachev.

Also discovered in a report card that my grade three teacher identified my FEAR OF FAILURE as the major barrier in my life. Proud to say this issue still dominates my life every day.

A Puggle's Perspective

I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf I'm gonna barf

Blllleegh hack oh horrible life! Gaaaahk hork oh the humanity! Huuglb...oh, that was not much - apologies for amaking a terrible scene. Please, let me outside as that is where I am supposed to be when abarfing. Thank you.

You know, I could ause some leftover chicken...you horrible woman.

Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris Kris, let me lick your face. It was only a very small about of barf, nothing to be aconcerned about.

WE'RE GOING TO THE PAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!!! I will spin in circles to aindicate my excitement.

What tha?! Heyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyhey...there was a f@#king cat in my kennel. Agoddammit! Worst life EVER!

Love this.

Everythings Amazing & Nobodys Happy

My standing army

I've constructed an army of ewoks. They are fiercely loyal to me and extremely cunning. Beware.

On another note, I brought the second stray cat of the year home today. The first one turned out to belong to someone in the neighbourhood who, no doubt, had to pay a hefty fee to get her out of the pound. So I suppose you could say I catnapped that one. I have a feeling the $250 fine I received a few weeks ago for taking my unlicensed dog to the dog park may have been a little karmic.

This new cat however, was in distress and clearly did not have anywhere to be. She showed up in the parking lot at work. As I was leaving to pick a letter up from campus, I noticed an Innovation Place employee on the phone and a very tiny, very pregnant calico looking longingly through the glass doors. It did not take long for a small group of people from the building to gather. The group seemed to agree that we should call SCAT, rather than the SPCA, but their offices were closed and the Innovation Place fellow would not, under  any circumstances, allow the cat in the building - not even in the loading dock, which I thought was really unhelpful but hey, that's a crown corporation for you.

Anyway, no one seemed sure of what to do so I offered to take her home until we could reach someone at the cat rescue. The long and short of it is she spent the afternoon in Griff's kennel in our garage (heated garage if any of you are worried), but in the end someone who works for Amec in my building offered to take her home and foster her until her kittens are old enough to adopt. I'm so glad there are people like that in our world.

I should also note that Griff was extremely displeased that I faked her out by coming home for 10 minutes this morning, capped off by the ultimate betrayal of giving away her leftover chicken to a cat.

An observation

Today I am wearing various items made in Spain, Jordan, Egypt and Bangladesh.

I think I was made in Canada, but who knows really.

Just a reminder that this is awesome.

Staines-upon-Thames!!! HAAAHAHAHA

This is good for a midday giggle.

Embarrassing Staines? UK town considers changing its awkward name to boost its fortunes

Movember!!!

Kris is giving his face over to the prostate cancer cause this month. He grows superior beards/moustaches and I am in full support. You can support his Magnum P.I. look by donating to Prostate Cancer Canada here: http://ca.movember.com/mospace/965282/

Or, if you still use cheques, you can write a cheque payable to 'Prostate Cancer Canada', referencing Kris' name or Registration Number 965282 and mail it to: 

Prostate Cancer Canada, Suite 306 145 Front Street East, Toronto, ON M5A 1E3, Canada.  

All donations are tax deductible to the extent permitted by law. For more details on how the funds raised from previous campaigns have been used and the impact Movember is having, visit: http://ca.movemberfoundation.com/research-and-programs.

A puggle's perspective

Good morning! Thank you for letting me asleep on your arm last night. I had delightful dreams.

Ahhhhhwwwwrr! I love a morning stretch.

You will shower today, yes? I will await on the bathmat until you are finished then I will lick your feet and stand in your way. An enchanting morning ritual!

What is that you are aflushing down the toilet? Lemme see lemme see lemme see!!!!

What is this now? You have aplaced these socks here for me to chew? Marvelous.

Whaaaat! You are putting them on your feet? Surely then, you have aplaced this brazier here for me to chew? No? But all I have left to grind between my lonely teeth is your pillow and this measly blanket. OUTRAGE! Now take me outside to poop and then congratulate me with a carrot THIS INSTANT!

I feel there was a cat in the yard recently. This upsets me. Let us go back upstairs so I may arifle through your laundry, chew a roll of toilet paper and ultimately stare at you while you dry your hair with that beastly contraption that at once intrigues and haunts me.

Holy good lord

That cold me knocked me OUT! Admittedly, not as bad as last year's, but still lame.

When I get sick, I get a man cold. Both man-sized and in terms of how I deal with it - as in not well. I am a super sissy when it comes to being sick. I believe I said to someone last Thursday that I would take a head cold for a week over a sore throat for a day. I got both (I'm shaking my fist at you immune system). Kris noticed the apothecary I set up beside the couch, which included such items as: Tylenol DT Cold, Tylenol Extra Strength, Robitussin, Buckley's, Ricola Honey & Lemon lozenges, Cepacol cherry lozenges, and Chloraseptic throat spray (cherry flavour, but really it tastes like band aids and ozonol). Also a box of kleenex, lip balm (until the dog ate it while I was in the shower) and hand lotion. Add to that my crochet supplies (yarn, hooks, books etc) and I had basically everything I needed to survive.

Except a bathroom. Here's why:

The bathroom on the main floor is in the addition. We discovered some weeks ago a slow leak in the basement coming from the direction of this bathroom's pipes. We stopped using it until we could figure out where the leak was coming from, testing by running the sink but not flushing the toilet, then flushing the toilet (just the water) and not running the sink. When we concluded that it was the toilet leaking (disgusting), Kris decided on changing the wax ring as a first attempt at a solution. So, Sunday he went out and got a new wax ring, came home and dismantled the toilet, where we promptly discovered the source of the leak. How can I explain this? Essentially, the drainage pipe is not flush (ha! I didn't even mean to do that) with the hole intended to hold the pipe - about 1-2 cm gap. When the previous owners installed a new toilet, they did not ensure this proper alignment. Thus, when the toilet is flushed some of the contents are in fact going down the outside of the pipe, rather than inside it. Think about THAT. Blegh.

I'd like to note that this is the fourth problem we've found with the DIY geniuses who owned our house previously:

1. Paper towel stuffed up inside the hose of a leaky release valve on the water heater, which came shooting out when the water heater drained onto our floor. Now fixed by a professional.

2. Improperly (as in didn't) stripping the wire for light fixture, causing the plastic to melt and shorting the fixture altogether. Replaced by Kris who is an expert at minor electrical tasks like outlets, switches and light fixtures.

3. Exposed wiring taped together with scotch tape

4. The toilet fiasco. Trying to seal it first - if that fails we'll need a plumber and floor guy and may unexpectedly reno our main floor bathroom.

I can't wait to find out what's waiting for us when we tear up the deck next summer.

Jerks.

A follow up

School officials clarify policy on plagiarism

The School Board is attempting to clarify public perception of their new report card system. I read this article in the Star Phoenix this morning and I'm not sure it clarified much. But, I can appreciate how difficult it is to try and defend against misinformation / misrepresentation of information.

On some level, I understand separating behaviour from aptitude, but I'm not a trained educator so that understanding is limited. I guess what concerns me most is that attitude and behaviour are intimately linked to success at all points outside of high school. It's kind of shocking when you leave high school and realize that every decision you make might have significant consequences at some point in your future. It's critical for kids to learn that you can't just not do something or not show up, because the world won't give you a bunch of chances to make it up. Your failings will follow you around and show up in places like your personnel file.

I don't envy teachers. They get a raw deal and get shit on more often than praised. I try to imagine having to take care of someone else's kids for 40 hours a week 10 months a year, while also trying in inculcate acceptable values and a sense of morality AND teach them to analyze King Lear or cut apart a dead pig. Sounds rotten to me. Ultimately, it's the teachers that spend the time with their students, that build relationships and trust with their students, and that are responsible for evaluating their success. I'd be really interested to hear what they have to say about the best way to evaluate their students.

Prairie Sentinels

Another one lost

Grain elevators naturally make me think of Grandpa Al since he spent his life working for the Wheat Pool. I miss him.

I found a site that has loads of elevator photos from around the province.

Jackass Monday Part II

I thought something great might happen yesterday after work, like ice cream. Instead I took the dog for a walk where she had three s#its. I only had two bags, but since I am rule follower and abide by the social contract requiring me pick up after my pet, I reused the second bag very unsuccessfully. I'll spare you all the indignity of elaborating on the details. Then I inhaled a bug and it got stuck sort of in my throat sort of up my nose. I gagged violently. It was awful.

On the bright side, we watched the season premiere of Bored to Death last night and I was regaled with hilarious jokes about aneurysms and s&m. Jason Schwartzman is my hero.

Jackass Monday Part I

8:00am: login to facebook, lurk for a couple minutes

8:10am: read the news (CBC, Star Phoenix, Toronto Star). Jaycee Duggard is writing a memoir about being held captive for 18 years, being raped repeatedly, having 2 kids by her captor and living in tents and sheds for 2 decades. She's obviously a very strong individual. I can guarantee I would not have survived that.

On another note, high school kids in Saskatoon are no longer getting docked marks for handing assignments in late or not showing up to class. That's great! Because two key life skills aren't meeting deadlines and taking responsibility for yourself. Don't worry kids. When you get into the work force and come in late and miss your deadlines, you'll just keep getting second, third and fourth chances. Oh, no wait, you'll get fired and end up living in a van down by the river where mean people will give you money to fight other people who live in vans down by the river and they'll record it, post it on youtube and make money off your suffering while you eat sandwiches from the garbage. Awesome.

8:25am: Blog (waste some time)

8:30am: work...

Bald eagles released from death grip

Wow. My sister and I also used to get into fights like this over scraps of food.

Bald eagles released from death grip

Boobs boobs boobs.

As cranky Seamus said on Canada AM this morning, "I'm offended by their offendedness."


‘Sesame Street’ cancels airing of Katy Perry-Elmo duet - thestar.com

Don't ask don't tell...

The American senate wants their country's soldiers to continue pretending .

Cormac's sweater

Not bad for a first attempt. Also, I didn't have a real pattern, but scaled down from an adult pattern. Admittedly, I did have to redo the sleeves. The first time I left way too many stitches at the top for the collar and it looked like some kind of 80's flash dance sweater. Might have been funny now, but I want Cormac to love me when he's older, not resent me for making him look ridiculous.

Whaa?

I'm so confused by this woman:

Artist wants to remove Tommy Douglas statue

Also, she seems unnerved that Jack Bauer showed up, yet she posed for a picture with him.

40 years!

Don loves Dorothy.

Making fun of Canadians...sort of.

Someone spoofed "The American" trailer with "The Canadian". You can watch the clips here:
How many Canadian clichés can you fit in two minutes? - thestar.com

I don't find this offensive, but I also don't find it remotely funny. Very predictable, standard fare. Stephen Colbert's Ice holes and Saskatchewhiners are much more clever.

Sacha Baron Cohen to play Freddie Mercury!

Freddie Mercury's voice makes me so crazy that I wish I'd been a hot London gay boy in the 70s. I have a feeling this movie is going to rock my socks off!

CBC News - Film - Sacha Baron Cohen to play Freddie Mercury

Children, Children!

Europe is in a serious tizzy over France’s summary deportation of its Roma population. The Roma are traditionally nomadic people who have no “national” homeland to speak of. By “national” I mean a specific territory delineated by an invisible yet enforceable border and comprised of people who share a common language, value set, religion (in many cases), history etc. Anyway, France is getting rid of them (while also banning burkas, religious symbols of any kind in public schools, and soon any one that doesn’t eat cheese, smoke cigarettes, or wax nostalgic on all things France. Ok that last bit wasn’t serious.)

Before the tsk tsking starts on this side of the Atlantic, I would like to share that I once took a course from a brilliant Hungarian who made an excellent point of putting the entire class (of Canadians) in its place by likening European treatment of Roma to Canadian treatment of our First Nations. They are systemically marginalized (some would say demonized) and excluded by governments and populations alike, to the extent that they generally live in poverty-stricken communities with poor health, low education levels and a high crime rate. He was very careful to make this point before he began his lecture on the Roma, which I believe was a pre-emptive strike against any sense of superiority on our part. In this regard, I believe that Canada has absolutely nothing to offer Europe in the way of advice and no right to condemn Sarkozy’s actions. Not because Roma deportation is in any way acceptable, but simply because the kettle and pot are both brimming with ignorance.

The Guardian has an excellent article detailing the Roma plight, which you can read here.

On a side-note, I once made the mistake of mentioning to some of my peers in grad school (50% of whom hailed from Russia and the former soviet bloc) that my grandmother thought she has some Roma heritage. They called me a dirty gypsy (in jest, I suppose), for an entire term. I prefer to be known as a cheap Mennonite, for the record.

News of the Day

Let's see...what's up in the world?

Politics - State-run media in Iran called Nicolas Sarkozy's wife a prostitute, then told the world she deserved to die because she disagreed with the state's stoning sentence for a woman who apparently committed adultery. Who knew that believing a person shouldn't be stoned to death for having an affair (whether there's any truth to the offender's confession is beside the point) equates to giving it up for the bills. The government is distancing itself from the remarks of course. Ahmadinejad knows immodest ladies like Ms. Bruni-Sarkozy are busy enough causing earthquakes with their boobs. Much too busy to sustain a career in the sex trade.

Your health - TEENAGERS ARE LOSING THEIR HEARING AS A RESULT OF LISTENING TO IPODS / MP3 PLAYERS. I LOST MY HEARING 15 YEARS AGO AS A RESULT OF LISTENING TO MY WALKMAN. For real though, I could have told you that listening to booming music through ear buds might have a negative impact on hearing. Common phrases in my house include: huh / what / I don't know what you're saying to me / Say that again / I don't know what you're talking about etc.

Hollywood - A movie about Facebook? Starring Justin Timberlake? For reals? Why? Because millions or billions of people use it? Millions and billions of people also use such innovations as the telephone, electricity, computers, aeroplanes, toilet paper etc., any of which would be infinitely more interesting to learn about in movie format than the genesis of facebook. Don't get me wrong, I like Facebook. I use it regularly. But I do not care about the history of it or whose children Mark Zuckerberg had to eat to get his billions. Much in the same way that I use my office whiteboard but do not care about who invented the whiteboard or any of the drama that might have surrounded who got credit for inventing the whiteboard. Blurgh.

The Fosters - Our new furnace will be installed on Thursday; we've finally made it through two seasons of Angel; and, we had a minor altercation with a neighbour over his incessant parking in the alley, blocking access to our garage (he's a d-bag, obviously).

Roll Your Owns

Goodness I love Saskatchewan. We just returned from a trip up to Jan Lake. Our family has a cabin (affectionately I call it the murder cabin because it is made of plywood, has moss growing on the roof and generally looks like a Michael Myers-type hangout). My favourite part of the trip is that it starts in the prairie and ends in shield country - voila:





My favourite part of this most recent trip however, was the group decision that the enormous woman riding "side saddle" on her atv who stopped in front of our cabin to collect some moss was, in fact, using it to roll her own tampons. Hey, supplies are expensive in the North. Good for her.

F is for Fish...and Fathers' Day

We made fish burgers for Fathers' Day. I found this excellent recipe in the LCBO's Food and Drink mag that is delicious. Interesting however, that when I told my brother that we were making fish burgers, he was all like "Fish burgers...gross. WTF, why are you making fish burgers?" I guess he thought we were going to serve fishwiches from MacDonalds or something. After I explained how delicious and adult they would be, he gave the Mennonite defense - as in "well, Mennonites don't really eat fish so I guess I'm just surprised."

Anyway, that got me thinking about what Mennonites eat. Perogies. Sausage. Pickles. Potatoes. Plumaploutz. Rollkuchen. Pfeffernuesse. Other than that, I really couldn't say, but I could probably survive quite fine on those seven things for the rest of my life.

In case you're interested, here's a menno food blog
http://mennoniterecipes.blogspot.com/

I'm Heart and Soul

My dad's family is from Humboldt, SK, so when my sister hooked up with a dude from that town (now a city I believe), I was like "sweet, this guy is most likely Menno or German - either way he knows perogies." He definitely also knows how to buy gifts for people. Check out the logo on this jacket he bought for Kris' birthday.

BTW, we bought the best of Huey Lewis and the News a few months ago and Kris listened to it about 30 times in the span of a week. It was ridiculous.

Also, I wanted to share this noodle mix I found in Superstore over the weekend. Superstore is a great place to snap photos of inappropriately named food.

Things I learned today!

And now for a new segment I like to call "Things I Learned Today!"

1. Plasma is just really really hot gas...I think anyone who knows me pretty much knows where I'm at with that, but for those who don't, well, you can probably guess: FAAAAART!

I am helping a faculty member put together an application for an award but in order to do that, I needed him to explain some very basic things about physics to me as though he were talking to a 6 year-old. Kris advised me that asking researchers to explain their work to you like you are a kindergartener is really the best way to fully grasp what it is they do. Every discipline has a specific vernacular and if you're not familiar with it because, say, you received a general liberal arts education, then you need to start from the very very very beginning. It was very helpful and I think he didn't mind too much.

Current plasma applications include: PLASMA TVs!!! Also, the Sun.

2. Homeowners don't always bother to learn the proper way to install light fixtures before installing light fixtures. When we (read: Kris) replaced about a hundred million light fixtures in our house in Ottawa, we waited until his dad came to visit to show us how to do it properly. Here's a key element: with a wire stripper, remove the plastic covering from the end of the wire before connecting it to anything. If you don't you end up with a melted fire hazard that might eventually really piss off the next owners of your home in a very serious way.

Griff's Pig

Griff's routine:

• Get up at 6am
• pee
• breakfast,
• a)sulk on couch with pig while Alex "works out" or b) lay on Alex and watch Canada AM - Seamus is so cranky
• grab pig, go upstairs, lay on Kris while Alex "showers"
• Kris gets up, take pig downstairs and look out window with him
• a)stay home with pig or b) go to camp, miss pig all day
  
• a)show pig to Kris and Alex when they get home from "work" or b) get home from camp and tell pig about my day
• supper
• chase pig
• hump dragon
• lick pig
• sleep
  

Unfortunately, last night pig received a near fatal wound. There was pig stuffing everywhere.We had to distract Griff with a cookie to hide pig for fixing later. I fear that if pig doesn't return soon, Griff will fall into a deep depression. Tonight I will clean and stitch the wound. Hopefully it will heal.

A Run Down

I had three cups of coffee between 8:00 pm and 9:00 pm in order to stay awake long enough to make Kris watch the Shining - which he had never seen. Now I'm totally wired and feel like going for a run. But it's 11:38 pm and people out in the streets this late in this city often meet with unfortunate incidents - so I'll blog instead.

My day today:

1. 7:30 am I was out raking leaves in the front yard. I filled two yard bags but it really doesn't look any different which is disheartening. I'm also sure that numerous lady bugs lost their lives in the chaos my rake created and I feel bad about that. Actually, at my walk during lunch on Friday I was walking around carelessly, then looked down, saw that I was in a swarm of ants and said out loud "Oh, ants!" then hopped over them. All the little living things in this world deserve a shot at a good life - who am I to squash their dreams? Anyway, I'm feeling a little less like a delinquent neighbour now that I've cleaned up a bit.

2. We took the dog to the Birkenstock store where she had an enormous cookie. We had actually finished our business but had to wait for her to finish eating her cookie before we could leave. She loves Broadway now. She was trying to get into every shop on the way back the car: "Cookie? Cookie? Will you give me a cookie?" She didn't get anymore cookies, though Kris and I were offered brownies by a stranger. I generally decline food offered by strangers, which has surprisingly happened to me several times over the years. The worst was the woman in the elevator at Carleton who pulled a cookie from her pocket then offered it to me. Really? Yes, really.

3. We took the dog to Sutherland Beach. We don't actually go down to the beach because the thought of our dog jumping in the river and being swept away by the current is too much to bear (bare? bear? I don't know, it's late). The trails at Sutherland Beach are like little half pipes and Griff loves to slalom. She runs up one side and now the other until she just can't run anymore. It kind of reminds me of the first time I ever experienced a hot tub. Penguin Park, 1987-9ish. My brother Jon and his friend John took me to the water slide park outside the city. Brother Jon was water sliding and friend John and I went in the hot tub - it wasn't lewd or anything. It was huge and there were tonnes of people. I didn't know hot tubs were for relaxing so I just swam around and around in circles. Only later when friend John noted to brother Jon that "your sister swam around in circles in the hot tub" and they both laughed did I realize my error.

4. I gave some boys our beer cans for their bottle drive to support their baseball team. I hate baseball. It's the worst.

5. We went to Don and Dorothy's for burgers on the deck. First of all, my dad knows how to make burgers. He ground up steaks in his meat grinder, which he insists is made from old Panzer parts, then put sauteed crimini (also a swear word - CRIMINI!) mushrooms in them. We had them with fried onions and feta and they were delicious. I ate the whole thing. I was surprised, Kris was not. Maybe my appetite is getting bigger, who knows. Then after dinner we watched a blue jay take a drink then a bath in D&D's birdbath. He at least drank the water first. Apparently, the robin's aren't that smart. THEN Griff chased a low-flying robin out of the yard. It's the closest she's ever come to catching a living thing - aside from the incident with the vol that no one wants to talk about. Dad was a bit miffed that she was chasing his birds so we went inside shortly thereafter.

6. We watched the Shining. I don't think Kris enjoyed it but he was a good sport about it. I love my husband for a lot of reasons - watching suspense thrillers with me even though he hates suspense thrillers is one of them.

7. Blogged. Now I'll crochet. Goodnight!

Thanks Stranger!!!

First, I'm glad to see the "Omigod I'm so busy studying for exams that I couldn't possibly have time to assemble an outfit other than sweatpants and a bunnyhug but, thank GOD, I still have time to do my hair and make-up" tradition is alive and thriving at the U of S.

Second, I had the benefit of experiencing perhaps the most chivalrous act ever offered to me by a stranger today. The wind is gusting at ridiculous speeds today, blowing slush and snow into the faces of babes like me (yeah I'm a babe, so what?) and nearly knocking us off our feet. I quite literally could not open my eyes on the way into my office building after lunch today and was walking with my eyes closed hoping the cars in the lot would see me and that my highly attuned sense of direction would get me to the door without incident - when what to my tightly shut eyes should appear, a stranger, arm outstretched saying "let me help you my dear".

Seriously, this kind man offered his arm to me and helped me get inside the building. I love this! It makes me so happy and warms my heart on this horrible, dangerous day. Thanks stranger!

Laundry can do a lot for a gal

We got a new computer this weekend. I told Kris he could get whatever he wanted, as long as I could use the internets and do some basic word processing. I demanded that it happen this weekend. My acer laptop has served us well - it got me through grad school and I really can't ask anything more of it. Besides, it was so loaded down with music files, it literally took 30 minutes to start up and several hours to shut off. Poor acer :( he's going to a better place.

So Saturday morning we got up and made a deal - I get a new computer if I wash Kris' jeans. Seems like a pretty good deal - though half the money spent on this sucker is mine but still, anyone who knows Kris knows that it can take him years to get around to things, like buying new sneakers. So if washing his Levi's is what it takes, I'm good with that. A bit of laundry = new functional computrix = happy face for me. So we're driving to Future Shop and decide that we will get another pc laptop. FS is conveniently located two shops away from Michael's and I needed a bunch of yarn for baby blankets so I ducked in for my crafting needs while Kris started "looking around" for laptops. When I find him, however, he is not looking at pc laptops but utterly engrossed in what Marg, the Mac lady is saying - spreading the Mac gospel if you will. And that was it, mind made up, iMac it is.

I think that deep down I really wanted a Mac but couldn't really justify it because all I do is check email and read news and I really don't need a Mac for that. By telling Kris he could choose whatever he wanted, in my heart I knew he would choose the golden apple so I was basically ensuring I got what I wanted but making him think it was his idea. Oh well, he needed the decision-making practice anyway. I might die tomorrow and then there will be no one else to decide what to eat or watch on tv.

A photog

I found this photo labeled "Amy's Birthday". It looks like something that would happen at Amy's birthday, though I'm not sure if this would be classified as a feat of accuracy or strength.

Holy Hannah!

Oh no - it's been a year since I paid any attention to my blog but I feel like reviving it. No one checks this anymore so really I'm just writing to myself but that's cool, that's cool.

I LOVE spring. It makes me feel awesome. I love the sun, the light in the mornings, the smell of cow poop coming from the university barns. I love being able to take the dog for marathon walks like we did this weekend - she is getting older by the way and was ex-HAUSTED for the last kilometer. I love feeling like anything is possible after emerging from several months of darkness.

I don't love, however, the dead gophers. Preston Avenue from 14th street to circle drive is a virtual battlefield for the little furries. It's gross and sad. And yes, I know they're considered vermin, but aren't we all just trying to cross the street in this world? I hang my head in a moment of silence for our little victims.