Quite the menu!

Today Griff's "cuisine" consisted of not only her kibble, but some underwear, a rotten piece of sidewalk cheese, a flattened mummified mouse and a dead worm which she ate while rolling around vigorously in other dead worms. Sometimes being a dog parent is really disappointing.

How do I tell the dog?

I cried at a funeral caravan the other day. I don’t know who died – I just passed a hearse and a bunch of sad people on Clarence and got all teary. Why? Because I’m a sympathetic person, but also because I’m pregnant and feel like an amazing lunatic all of the time. I also cried watching Disaster DIY.

Yes, for those of you who didn’t know a human being is gestating in my abdominal cavity, now you do. Set to emerge and "step on my dreams" (thanks Louis CK) sometime in November and genetically predisposed to love perogies, Doritos and tv but we’re hoping for more, of course.

I’m not planning on posting a whole bunch about being pregnant (mostly because it’s actually really gross and you probably don’t want to know the details about how uncomfortable I am all the time) but also because it’s not all that interesting to anyone other than me. The interesting part is the baby – and even they’re not that interesting until 3 or 4 months out in the world.

Anyway, I feel ready to be a mom and extraordinarily unprepared to physically give birth – blegh. Talk about gross. I’m now kind of wishing bff Mary had kept her resident tales of the delivery room to herself. All I can think about are scalpels and vacuums…not cool man. Not cool.