Thinking About: Corners

What is it about corners that are so appealing? I always want to be in the corner. The corner of the elevator, the corner of the couch. I guess it’s because it feels safer to be tucked away than out in the open, in the middle of space. Not actual space, obviously I don’t have the physical or intellectual capacity to go to space. I’m not a stupid person, but I know my limitations and outer space is definitely one of them. But, just space in general. I fight the urge in meetings or conference sessions to sit in the back corner, because it’s antisocial. But if I have to sit in a restaurant with my back to open space, goddammit. My refuge at the end of the day is the corner of our couch – in the corner of our basement. You can’t get any more away from the rest of the house as my 7:15pm-9:00pm spot. After working/parenting for roughly 13 hours, all I want is to sit in the corner. It’s my shelter from the day that just happened and where I don’t think about tomorrow. It doesn’t matter if I’m watching TV, planning my Smurf Village, or playing Tetris. As long as I can be in the corner, I can relax. So here’s to corners!

Also, for those of you who feel like we should be pretending the idiot weather is no big deal because "we live in Saskatchewan - what do you expect," -  GO AWAY! Go live in the Arctic Circle if you love it so much. People are free to complain about whatever they want. Human beings have been commenting on the weather probably since they could grunt and walk only semi-upright. It's totally ok to complain about being cold and sad about an extra long winter.

Thinking About: Saying No

I say no all the time in all kinds of ways. I say no to Max when he tries to stick his hand in my salad or the dog’s water dish. I say no to Griff when she humps company or snatches a Dorito from my hand. This morning I said no to a cinnamon bun and opted for the bran muffin instead. Saying no at work, however, is pretty different story. It’s a skill I’ve yet to master. I have a lot of personality flaws that are primarily rooted in constantly feeling inept, ill-equipped and inexperienced. My three Is! One of the flaws that results from my cherished three Is is the inability to provide a firm “no” when warranted at work. The result is that I take on too many tasks, get overwhelmed and fail in some regard, thus perpetuating the three Is. This is a terrible cycle. So, when I was getting ready to come back to work after my year of mat leave, I resolved to be better at being straightforward. I think I’m making progress. I’ve said no to a few people, provided a reason for my refusal and…everything is fine. No one hates me (?), I didn’t get fired (yet) and the world didn’t end (yet). Sweet.

Thinking About: Crying at Work

Sometimes, I have good reasons to cry at work. Maybe I'm sad about a personal thing, or someone has asked me to write a report that will go nowhere for the thousandth time. Maybe I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things I've said I'd do but don't have time for (next week - saying "no.") Or maybe I just watched a heart-warming video about a dog who adopted an iguana or some sort of animal wheelchair. Lots of reasons. But I don't do it. The workplace does not tolerate emotion. At work you are to HOLD IT THE FUCK TOGETHER. Your workmates are uncomfortable when your human shows. Work is about getting tasks accomplished and the prevailing view is that emotion prevents this from happening. Tears are poison for productivity. If your co-worker sees you crying, they're all "whoa, what horrible tragedy has befallen this person that they've become so weak as to cry at work?" Weak. There's the rub. Crying is weak. That salty bodily fluid makes us intellectually inferior and incapable of contributing in a positive way. Bullshit. Normally, after a good cry I feel rejuvenated - sometimes sleepy depending on the length, reason and intensity - but mostly I feel better. People are now encouraged to work remotely when need be. Some experts suggest taking 20 minute breaks every 90 minutes to increase productivity and reduce stress. I would like to add crying your fucking eyes out when shit gets sour and not pretending you're a stoic droid to the inventory of coping with your goddamn work life.

*Sorry for the swearing. I'm not allowed to swear at home anymore.

Toddler; Terrorists

Foster life: The last two days Max has been singing so loudly in the car that we could not hear Hall and Oates greatest hits over his melody. Also we discovered he's been drinking from a straw-cup for MONTHS at daycare. We thought he'd hit some amazing milestone last week so I took a new cup with me to daycare and Sadia casually says she already "has one of those and he uses it every day." Cue the "what else are we missing!" panic of two working parents.

TV: We started watching Homeland a couple weeks ago but keep forgetting to watch it. Obviously it is not gripping. KTF and I are both wondering if we're missing something given all the hoopla about this series, but I think maybe it's just that we aren't American? I'm still trying to decide if it has some merit or is just perpetuating the Muslims are terrorists narrative. I know I like Mandy Patinkin and I don't like watching Clare Danes have sex, but that's as much as I can decide.