Friday, April 19, 2013

A Puggle's Perspective

Puggle log: day 539 – the winter of my discontent has, thus far, not been made lighter. The very small one has become larger than me and now throws dangerous objects at me…I believe this to be on purpose.

 It started so many months ago. The man and the fat one left in the middle of the night, I was all alone. Thankfully Papa Don rescued me from my solitude and I lived two glorious weeks as his companion. When I was returned, the fat one was moderately less fat. The man was grumpy. And they had brought that tiny creature into our house. It has mostly destroyed my life. For many weeks it emitted a terrible screeching noise. This prompted the most terrifying sound from the moderately less fat one’s mouth hole. A horrible shushing sound. The only way to escape it was to creep slowly backwards out of the room. I took refuge for many nights in my room. I had hoped the man and I would move into a downtown loft but, no.

The tiny creature, I have come to understand, is one of them. It now sits in a chair and shares its food with me several times a day. For this, I will silently endure the throwing of very dangerous objects I referenced earlier. It moves around now, delicately, on two legs. It smells constantly of milk and fish crackers. And poop. Delicious.

The man and the other one don’t take me out to eat dead worms as much as they used to. They tell me to be quiet and go to bed and not knock over the very small one or hump his toys – even in good fun. Preposterous! I am waiting patiently for life to return to its former glory. Until then, I will continue to drag my bum across their carpet and lick my paws for hours in the middle of the night.

 

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